OCTOBER ADVENTURE.

Been staying in manila for a week now... things are happening so fast.

Who knew manila time would be WAYY different from davao time.

GOD help me.

Sometimes I would think that 24 hours in a day isn't enough to accomplish things.. sobrang kulang pa talaga.

dami kong dapat gawin, maraming dapat simulan at tapusin...

I need this. I know I need this.

and I'm not forcing anything this time.

Manila is indeed a surprise (apart from all the hustle and bustle of the busy roads and bridges, and from all the new things that come and go) part of which are things that I knew would eventually happen, but majority of it, I didn't knew was possible.

Living with friends whom you've known for years is indeed a blast.

Catching up on stuff, talking nonsense, doing anything under the sun.

But I do miss home.

I miss my mom, my dad, my brothers, my dogs and my room.

October is indeed the pedestal of my life. This is where I will make a stand, a statement, my legacy.

Whatever happens here will forever be my grandstand.

And for sure, I will never come home unless I've had the most of my stay here... and I mean it.

living life.

taking in chances.

xoxo

harvii

SEPTEMBER: the end for most of it.

SEPTEMBER oh SEPTEMBER; you are the worst month of my year. :(

Soo much has happened to me this month. So much, that apparently, I haven't been able to put up a couple of posts here. Well, not making any excuse or what, but i've been considerably busying myself with a lot of things after the break up. YES. Break up. Who would have thought that this month would signal the end of a year or so of romance and love-affairs? who knew? not me.

September was a roller coaster ride for me. Apart from all the drama, I have been keeping myself busy and busting every nook and cranny of my life just to earn a living. Come on, my Pilates Job isn't paying me well/ not enough so to speak. I have to find other opportunities to make living in this materialistic world, easy. Life is not at all sweet, but you have to somehow find a way to live it through.

There really isn't much of the roller coaster ride that I had this month, some of the UPs were flabbergasting but most of the DOWNs are downright flamboyant.

Come to think of it, I wasn't able to achieve HOMEOSTASIS this month. Sad to say, I myself can't figure out why. Maybe it's because I did something that was wayyy out of hand? Or was it because, I finally found something/someone that I know would eventually turn my world around? I don't know. I don't know.

BREAKING UP. yes it was tough. I cried... A LOT.
but I knew I had to endure the pain, after all, it was my choice and I had to prove to myself that I will be able to live through this choice that I did.

We've been having fights for quite sometime now, some of which, I was able to document here. But having too much of it made my bubbles burst. I have kept my intuitions to myself (although, I admit I too have been a blabber mouth at times) and I know when to start and when to stop. This time, all came too suddenly. TOO FAST, that I had to RUN AWAY. I knew it would end up like this, having both of us to experience excruciating pain, but what shook my decision was the mere fact that I have had too much of this PAIN, and the only thing that I could do to save myself was to RUN AWAY.

yes yes. I know it's wrong to RUN AWAY from your problems, but in my opinion, what I did was for the best. I didn't want to hurt him, nor did I want myself to be hurt by him ever again. I kept on saying "tama na!" because I honestly was under so much pain. I didn't eat for a day, just to keep my mind sound (ironic?) but I knew it was best to let my body feel the pain, so that when time comes, I'd know how every single heartbeat of pain would feel.

MOVING ON.
I knew what I did, so therefore, I knew what I had to do.
I needed an escape route out of all of these. It didn't bother me at all, finding out that my ex-boyfriend was capable of talking things behind my back. PAINFUL yes, but come to think of it, it would be better if I stay true to my decisions rather than stooping down to his level and telling him that he'd better stop. I feel sorry for him.

Being away for sometime, took some of the load off my chest. I found myself staring at the mirror and saying "OH GOD! I LOOK SO HORRIBLE". I've lost the will to take care of myself for quite sometime, and now that all is said and done, I'll be bringing back the care that I gave myself.

Still, part of moving on is meeting other people, and in my case, I finally found myself together with another. yeah yeah, I KNOW it's too early to date, but what can I say, I have to let myself be HAPPY again. After all, that's the least I could reward myself after all the crying and the sleepless nights.

"I feel no sympathy, you live inside a cave.
You barely get by, the rest of us are trying.
So there's no need to apologize,
Got no time for feeling sorry."

I had to do something just to bring here. In this state of mind. Now if you still think that what I did wasn't the best thing to do, then I'd leave that to you. So whoever you are, wherever you may be. THANK YOU for teaching me how it feels to FEEL pain, and for letting me know how to love myself again.

i miss you ba BOO! :)

so tired.
loving my life now.
xoxo
harvii

AUGUST: all WORK and no FUN.

I can't believe it! August is almost over, and I'm not minding it one bit.

I've been really REALLY busy with training and work. So busy, that all the sleep deprivation is making me nuts. I have been awake for the most of this month. Bodily changes are occurring and I'm not liking it one bit. (I have EYEBAGS!)

There are times that I feel soo stressed out that I just would want to sit down and sleep... but that isn't always the case.

Having to train for no pay and to work with SEVERELY low wage is a PAIN IN THE *SS!

Sooner or later, I think I'll be quitting everything and will go find me some decent job.. one that pays well for the labor that I am rendering.

September is just around the corner. I just hope everything will work out for the best.


stressed out.
gosh.
xoxo
harvii

all that you think is good, may not be good at all.

There are certain periods in our lives wherein we are bound to imperfections, mistakes or mishaps, but these things are not the reason, nor the means, to measure the true capability of a person... The moment we stand up and face these problems, is the only means that would somehow define us for what we truly are.

We may not be the best when it comes to these kinds of games, but we surely have the fighting chance to not only save the things that can be saved, but yourself in the process.

I have learned to love myself more than ever; which is why I will not allow myself to be persecuted by these kinds of emotions. I don't need your luggage, I just need my stuff.

I know that these may be all to sudden for some, but for me, knowing that growth has not taken it's toll, and that further harm might be done, it would be best to cut out the lines/threads that connect me to you. It maybe my loss, as you would probably think, but come to think of it, it's both our losses.

It will not be easy, I know. But I do have my support group, my friends, my family and GOD to guide me. This is just part of the 'molding' process by which GOD has entrusted to all of us, and therefore I am but willing to be molded to any shape possible.

I love him, rather, I loveD him.
I am not bitter, I'm just expressing myself. After all, self-expression is/was/and will NEVER be a crime. :)

The Pilates Kid. :))

THIS IS ONE HILARIOUS VIDEO.
hahahahaha... I never thought that Pilates would be (at any rate) a form of self defense.. LOL! nice one! :))

hello JULY, hello dengue. urgh!

I actually just got home yesterday from the hospital.

Been confined for 5 freakin' days!

And the torture does not begin and end with the IV line being inserted, removed and reinserted... The thing is, I got sick with Dengue -- a stupid disease brought about by the sudden decrease in the platelet count, accompanied by dehydration and in worse case scenarios, accompanied by bleeding and hemorrhage. Yes, it's one hell of a serious disease -- But the thing is, dengue has NO CURE, so technically, the approach of most doctors would be to constantly rehydrate their patients. Minus the tradition, being hooked with 13 IV fluids is NO JOKE, plus you have to drink LOADS (and that would mean liters to gallons) of H20. And to add MOOREEE injury to the incident, I had to drink that homemade concoction, "tawa-tawa" because it is believed to help raise my ever depleting platelet count.

ugh! imagine the pain.
you do realize that drinking "tawa-tawa" does not do anything good to your body, except make you squint your eye, hold breath and wish you wouldn't vomit because of the after taste.

Being stuck in the hospital for 5 days made me realize that I do have some love for my profession. Considering that I am a Registered Nurse, I know the do's and don't s of the disease... apart from that I know how to manage stuff ( such as the time I had an epistaxis ). This and many more are the reasons why I somehow managed to go on for 5 days without getting crazied. :)

Now that I'm out of the hospital, I missed out on a lot of stuff with my hospital duty. It may be a burden to be confined, but it did give me time to rest, and to rethink things over. Maybe being stuck in the hospital for 5 days has it's benefits too. :)

end of JUNE.

yes I know it's july...
and yes I know this post is SUPER LATE.
but I've been really busy... and I mean REALLY busy with work, training and all!
so please understand.

anyways...

JUNE has once again left the building... but some things are better left for us to remember them. :)

I finally got to spend time with my long time friends.. :)
and yes, it was the first time that the three of us (plus djam) went someplace else to actually spend time... cause we RARELY do that back when we were in college...

here's the link to the pictures. :)

MAXIMA && MAREX escapade (RABIES MODE)

we first went to Maxima to experience the SUPER SLIDE... it's basically a slide (duh?) that goes all the way out into the open sea.. and mind you, Maxima is located at one of the many cliffs of IGACOS (Island Garden City of Samal). It was really fun, especially when for the most part of it, we were equally scared and thrilled to try out EVERYTHING that they had there...

apart from the slide, they also have the aqua trampoline, which was nice... considering that it was located at the distal parts of the area...

still, despite all the drama (yes there were dramas) we equally had fun.

After the fun in Maxima, we went to another resort. And despite the heavy downpour of the rain, we still managed to reach our destination. (yes it was raining, cause technically summer is over) Upon reaching Marex Resort, we head out to find refuge in their cage-like cottages. LOL.

preparing our dinner wasn't easy at all.. considering our only ready-to-eat roasted chicken was taken away from it's domains, not by anybody, but by a dog... the freakin' dog. We had no choice but to share the remnants of the chicken... poor us, we might have rabies by now.. LOL.

After the beach hopping and everything, we (original cast) planned on having our pictures taken... and so we did. :)

the trio PHOTOSHOOT

all in all, June was a very exhausting, yet very fun month for me. :)