Resolutions (part 1).

There are a lot of things that I wish to achieve this year, although I don't think I'd be able to push through with most of them (trust me, I know myself) but I'm hoping that with my "determination" and "perseverance" I'd be able to achieve these things. Yes I am HOPING.

My 2012 Resolutions:

1. PRAY MORE.

Yes, it's on top of my list. I haven't been thanking God for the many things that He h

as given me for the past years. That is why I will DO MY BEST to spend time to THANK HIM for the many things He has provided me for. See, I'm a good boy.

2. Drink MORE Water.

Weird as it may sound, but I haven't been replacing my water losses lately. This year I wish to at least drink 8 glasses of water a day. Aja! :)

3. Smile more often.

With all the depressing events in 2011, I guess many are now wondering if smiling would still be legal in 2012. Well, YES it still will be legal. This year I wish to be an influence to others to smile more often and think less of the many complications that life has. And if they don't smile in accordance to my liking, well... >:)

4. Work harder.

ADMIT IT! YES! 2011 wasn't my year. My career path, well let's just put it this way, I GOT LOST. For some reason, I hope to find my career path this year and the minute I find it, I swear to GOD I'll make the most of it. I'll be good at it. I WILL PERFECT IT! OC much?

5. Save for the RAINY DAYS.

2011 was an eye-opener to all of us, this year I wish to work hard, spend less and SAVE MORE! The more I gain in financial stability, the more capable I will be to provide for my family. And lesson learned the hard way, it's always GOOD to save for the RAINY DAYS.

6. Set a GOAL.

Set attainable GOALS this year. Last year I went grandiose with all my unrealistic plans and unbelievable goals, that is why, this year I will plan my goals. Make them realistic and yes, achievable. As they say, It doesn't take a great leap to start a long journey, the smaller steps are what that counts. Save energy for the tough times. :)

7. Love myself and others MORE.

Love Love Love. This year, I wish to spread the big L-O-V-E to all. No more hating for me. That is all in the past now. As they say, Love your friends, but love your enemies more. So, instead of saying F*^& Y!* say I LOOOVE YOU! now.. wtf.

Nostalgia

Much has been said and done since the past month that I have been staying here in Manila. I’ve come to love the place, the people, and most especially the food. Staying here has indeed changed me… A LOT! And I admit, I kind of like the change that it’s doing to me.

Last Halloween, I got spend time with my friends Jad and Jennifer, and they brought me to Jennifer’s aunt in Lucena City. It was there that I got to know the family and relatives of Jen, meeting them, talking to them, and even sharing a drink with them. I got to know my friends to a deeper level and now I am ultimately grateful for the experience they have shared with me.

Spending some alone time in the apartment has got me thinking a lot. I came to a realization that for the past month or so, I’ve completely spent most of it to pure unproductiveness. Come to think of it, I came to Manila in search of greater and greener pastures, but look what I’m doing? Busy doing nothing…

As I pondered through the creeks and cracks of my dusty apartment here in Kalentong, I felt the strange pressure that everything has been putting on me since the day I left Davao. Now that I’m here, I’m simply lost in the haze. I feel like I’ve lost my sense of purpose and my sense of responsibility, to the point that I feel like all I’ve been doing is slacking myself with nothing but food and fun.

Well life is all about fun… but wouldn’t I be better if I mixed fun with productivity?
I think I’m just too scared to jump off the ridge, as what most people do here in Manila. Maybe I’m just scared to not know where to jump and where to land. Or maybe, I’m just scared to take the ultimate risk of moving on and finding reasons to keep myself busy, knowing that should I engage my wing to such, I’d be losing time spent to my boo…

Maybe that’s just the problem with me… I tend to give all my time, even my life to one person, to the point that I risk my all for his sake. But isn’t that the right way to love? To be able to surrender yourself to the being that you want yourself and see yourself with your partner? To be always there when you’re needed by him?

Last night I talked with my best friend desiree, telling her how much I’ve been distracted and depressed by how a certain friend of mine has been acting behind my back. Apparently, he’s been spending much more time with my ex; which made me wonder as to whether or not he really is my best friend, or is he just a mere friend who typically stabs his other friends at their backs? Maybe they’re together? Or maybe they’re in love with each other? I don’t know… but if they are, I wish them both the best.

Today is Sunday, and I’m planning to get my hair cut. I’m just hoping that after I go to church and spend time with God, I’d be able to know my purpose of staying here. Maybe then, will I be able to finally take that leap of faith I so wanted to take. Who knows, by next week I’d be able to have a job, and finally be productive.

But then again... I got messed up with playing some stupid computer game.
boohooo.. poor me. :(

Yeah, who knows…

Nostalgic,
Xoxo
harvii