2012.

Have a great year guys!!! 2012 here we come! :)

Inspiration.

“It is difficult to inspire others to accomplish what you haven't been willing to try”

I was peering thorough my window and got inspired by the color of the sky. Hence my new blog design. I never really thought about it much, but I guess my Photoshop skills are still functioning pretty well.

I guess, all I needed was an inspiration.

Now I know, a daily dose of such should be enough for me to survive this generation.

Off to find another.

So, what inspires you?

:)

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas everyone! :)

May you spend this yuletide season with your family and loved ones.

I did, and it feels great.

"'tis the season to be fatty, falalalalalala"

Don't DIET.

Christmas comes once a year...

and yes, it's legal to splurge in your noche buena.

Though I haven't received any gifts this Christmas,

I'm still happy that I got to spend time with my family

and that for me is the best gift that a person, like me, can receive.

So take some time off, Holiday Rush is overr.

Give 'em gifts. Receive anything with an open heart.

Take a breather.

Gain some weight. BUT not too much.

Smile.

For it's the best time of the year! :)

Opportunity.

Look beyond the obvious: "how many rainbows can you see?"

There were a lot of things that troubled me for the past month. Although I thought that my life was meant to be this way, I saw a window of opportunity and this ultimately changed the way I pictured my life to be.

There are instances that we ask ourselves why? and there are situations that come which makes us think really deep. Well, I figured that these instances are merely God's way of intervening. He, like any other teachers, gives us tests and checks, noting every mistake and highlighting every correct answer. He teaches us things, things that we ourselves cannot comprehend until practice.

For instance, if you pray for Patience, God wouldn't just give you Patience. What He does is, He tests you, gives you a situation where your Patience is tested. This way not only do you learn, you understand as well.

Same goes to what happened to me these past few weeks/month. I have been praying to God to give me direction and guidance. Now what He has done is He has pointed me to the right direction, but he enticed me with a lot of temptations and distractions... which I think I have dealt with. Now, I feel that I am taking on the right path. I feel that not only do I see life clearly, but I feel things differently.

It pays to pray. So, learn to pray.

And when you're done, open your eyes to the possibilities, to the opportunities.

This way, therefore, you see things differently... you see them positively.

"when it's dark, look for the stars."

ranting goddess.

I saw this video in facebook and got interested... title pa lang kasi, nagka-interes na ako.. kaya pinanood ko.. and much to my surprise, ang galing ng mga sinabi niya..

Wish I could do vlogging.. but I guess, I can't.. I don't have a freaking camcorder. HAHAHAAH.

She has a lot of videos on her youtube site: http://www.youtube.com/user/thecountessanna

and most of them are RANTS..

Btw, she looks awesome and really pretty too.. kaka-inlove. :)

Rainy days and Tuesdays always get me down.

It's been raining since last night and my friends decided that we don't open our shop today. Technically, I've been slacking my ass off here at home. My aunt and my mom are nagging at me, telling me that I get a decent job instead of a part-time one... and I WILL eventually.

I've been down in the dumps lately... and I can't figure out why. Maybe it's because, there's something that I want to do, something I want to achieve, but I guess I can't.

I know that many would disagree in this thought, saying that, nothing is impossible. But the thing is, I still don't know what I want... I can't figure out what I want to do with my life.

I've been asking God for some divine intervention or some divine light to guide me to the right path, but unfortunately, I still haven't found it yet. Especially now that my plans for medschool are not happening, I just don't know what to do with my life anymore.

I guess, 2011 is not my year. Too much drama, too much time-wasting, TOO MUCH OF EVERYTHING. It's technically still October, but I'm hoping that by the end of this year, I'd be able to figure this one out.

Life goes on. I hope mine does.

help me... I'm LOST. :(

rant.

There just are some people who are born with neither morals nor values.

It's as if GOD forbade them from having these characteristics, which by the way, is VERY IMPORTANT!!

And I don't understand why these people have to be the ones who would act as if they OWN THE WORLD! They act as if, you don't deserve to feel any of the things that you ought to feel.

uhmm.. hello? HUMAN BEING here! I'm no ANIMAL B*tch!

And for the record, THEY BRAG at being MATURE... sorry to break it up to you dear, YOU'RE NOT! Get a LIFE!

Sometimes, it pays to have been brought up by highly authoritative parents. You get to understand morals and values in a much deeper sense.

and as for you mister, grow up!

ggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..... >=X

Teaching or Nursing.

I don't know, but I think I was better off being a teacher as that of being a nurse. Well, I do find my sense of purpose in most of the aspects concerning nursing (I do love serving people), but then, there are still some parts of me that would very much welcome teaching as a profession.

During nursing school, I was given the opportunity to teach children in the rural areas things regarding their health. It took a while for me to get used to it, since there was a lack of facilities in the area (electricity, water and the like) but due to improvisation and hard work, me and my colleagues were able to carry out our duties in that area.

It really has been a while since I stood up in front of a crowd/class (cause back in college, I usually get a dose of my spotlight everyday). Now that school's over, I guess I need to race my own spotlight now. No ones gonna offer me their anyways.

A while ago, I learned from church that "Everything happens at the right time and that God has His reasons for doing so..." maybe my time hasn't come yet. I'm just hoping that with everything that is happening in my life now, all of it would be worth it. Hoping that everything would fall into their places.

WHAT THE F*CK!

He has crossed the borderlines of being civil and being ethical.

What he has done is UNFORGIVABLE.

I have never been so angry in my entire life... My heart is literally pounding in anger, fear and sorrow... I will never FORGIVE HIM.

He has brought shame upon my morality. He has caused my reputation to be drenched in the stains of nothingness. He provoked me for the nTH time. I cannot take this for granted. This is but a serious matter.

Let this be known that I will NEVER TRUST ANYONE, any stranger to that matter, EVER AGAIN!

My heart is in DEEP PAIN right now. I am in sorrow. I am in misery.

HE HAS CAUSED ME SO MUCH PAIN! and for that I WILL NOT RECEDE TO FORGIVENESS!

God will bestow him the punishment that he deserves.

Karma will surely take the best out of him.

I have done nothing against him. And for him to do that, only proves that he has no brain, heart and SOUL.

I regret ever meeting him. I regret ever feeling something for him. I regret ever caring for him. I REGRET BEING WITH HIM. I REGRET IT ALL!!!!!

I wish I had never met him in the first place. I wish I had not known him. I wish our paths had not crossed. I wish he had not existed in the same generation that I am in.

I am ashamed of myself to have ever let him in my being.

He is nothing now. AND I WILL NEVER FEEL ANY REMORSE FOR HIM ANY MORE!

August Heartache.

So much has happened since the last time I blogged about my feelings.. I guess it's quite clear that in my last post I was so happy to be back on the love lane. But then again, those feelings I felt were merely superficial. I was attempting to do the impossible... LDR.

Life sucked a lot after that happened. I guess it all boils down to my decision of ending everything at any cost. I was hurt, yes. But I had to rise above the pain and put a smile in my face.

July came and I met another somebody. And that somebody gave me the impression that I was better off loved than be left alone. I gave in to my feelings, I blinded myself with the fact that what we had was real.. and that what we shared was something to be held onto.

But when August came, everything was made clear. I wasn't in any relationship to begin with. I was in-love with a somebody who is far more different from who I perceived him to be. I was forced to dive into deep waters.

I told him that I loved him, and he said that he loved me back. He told me that no one else comes close, and he kissed me and assured me of his undying love.

Everything was a LIE.

He lied to me when he confessed to me that his real name wasn't the one that I thought it was. He lied to me when he told me he wouldn't try to go online in some other networking site, but he did. He lied to me when he made me believe that he was busy doing something, when the fact is he's busy entertaining others.

He receives calls from persons he wouldn't tell me who. He texts others but when asked who, he wouldn't tell. He laughs at his messages but when asked to share to me, he would change the subject. He tells me he wants to be with me, only to find out that he's somewhere doing other business.

Karma is indeed a bitch.

I guess, I need to learn my lesson first... and apparently this is the lesson in progress. I haven't told him that I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. But I guess, showing him that what he is doing is wrong is way better than telling him.

I am hurt.

But I guess it'll be more liberating to know that I got through this learning something from myself. That I learned to love myself better. And that I made myself stronger and better for the coming years.

I believe that TRUST between and among partners, is important for a relationship to grow. You need not to shower your partner with LIES & DECEPTION just to get away with what you want. Loving someone is exposing yourself to that person, knowing that he/she will accept you and understand you for who and what you are.

THERE IS NO NEED TO LIE.

Maybe that's the reason why Eve ate the apple on the tree of life. Because other people lie... and in return we deny ourselves from the truth.

...honesty is INDEED a lonely word. :(

♥♥♥

The title says it all.

yihee. :)

BUSY.

Things got weird and depressing since I got back from CEBU.

After the burial of the daughter of my INAY, I needed to get back on track with my job applications. Luckily, opportunity presented itself.

Now, I'm busy dilly-dallying with all the stuff needed for my application, the thing is, HR hasn't txted or called me yet. Which is weird. I've been working my ass out for this opportunity, when all the while, everything still seems vague.

I don't know if I should continue doing all of this crap.

Then again, I'm not losing hope. Not this time.

Guess May was a FUN, WEIRD, SAD and BUSY month at all.

HEY! IT'S FREAKING JUNE! I just lost track of time.

stupid me... and all this time I thought it was still MAY. whateve.

btw, I just found out that a certain NOBODY has been snooping around my facebook account. I guess some people really don't understand the concept of privacy. Oh well. Not my problem anymore.

CHEERS TO JUNE! :)

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! :)

Due to some conflicts with my schedule, I won't be able to post anything on MAY 11, 2011 -- which happens to be the BIRTHDAY of my blog (akosiharvii.blogspot.com). So, I'm posting this in advance. :)

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
This blog's a year older now!

I can't believe it, I have managed to seriously keep this blog ALIVE. LOL!
and yes, despite the longevity of my stay in blogspot, I still have 1 follower. LOL!

thank you LOUELA DELOS REYES for keeping up with my blog! Much LOVE! :)

Yeah baby! :)

Bliss.

BLISS
–noun

1. supreme happiness; utter joy or contentment: wedded bliss.

2. Theology . the joy of heaven.

3. heaven; paradise: the road to eternal bliss.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bliss

After all the pain and suffering that I had been through for the past month, I finally got a taste of how it feels like to be HAPPY and a genuine one at that.

Going through all the hard turns and the wrong moves, made me realize that I had missed on a lot of stuff. Stuff that should have made me happy and should have made my life easier. But I guess, every now and then, we all have to learn things the hard way. I think that's how God utilized His power over human beings when He gave us the power of knowledge and conscience. I mean, we all need to get hurt sometimes.

It occurred to me that I do have to think of the positives and weigh out the negatives since life isn't all about pain and misery. It started when a friend of mine told me that he had good news with him, and that it concerned me and my unending hopes of becoming a doctor... and yes, IT WAS INDEED GOOD NEWS.

Being with the company of my closest friends made me realize that I didn't really miss out a lot in my life, after all, they were always there when I needed them. They advised me to fix things with my parents, and now, I'm back to speaking terms with my MOM. and yes, we are CLOSER NOW than before... now that that phase is over. We both can finally breathe.

Apart from all the drama of being hurt emotionally, I believe that I am close to feeling that same feeling I got last year... the feeling of being in love. Though I'm taking baby steps as to how to nurture this feeling, but I'm seeing better and my heart's well now. I'm still having doubts as to how this would work out, but I'm still keeping my head straight and my heart strong, so as to, be able to voyage through everything that is bound to come. Though, we aren't officially together, I'm still cherishing the time that we spend together... time well spent.

I've been broke as hell for the past month, and part of the journey that I took rewarded me with one of the greatest ultimatum in my life... WORK. A visitor from Manila endowed me with an opportunity of a lifetime, and as they say, when an opportunity is being handed on to you, you have to grasp it with both hands. And that is exactly what I am doing as of the moment, I'm taking this chance... and I'm threading a much clearer path.

Life is indeed a roller coaster ride. I may have been in the bottom for the past month, but that didn't stop me from hoping that one day, the sun would rise and I'd be at the top again.

Now that the sun is at it's peak, I'm doing the best I can to savor everything that is being given to me. Not only was I able to make lemonade, I too was able to make iced tea. :)

Now I'm looking at my life at a much more distinct perspective.
keeping my head held high.
relaxing my facial muscles and stretching my lips to form a smile.
xoxo
harvii

Lesson in Life #1

Dear heart-breaker,

I made this one so that you'll realize that what you've done is totally OUTRAGEOUS!

Yes, we might have been together in the past, and yes I might have professed my love for you... but as days went on, and hours ticked away, I realized that the more I got engrossed in this feeling, the more I knew that what we had is simply SICK. Yeah, you read it right, S-I-C-K!

You broke my heart, and shattered it into pieces. You left me standing in the rain, without even caring that I'd be soaked and get sick. You abandoned my heart, pushed me off the edge, and now I'm trapped in this oblivion for which you created on my expense.

I have lost sight of what's real and what's not. Guess you made me blind too. Now that I'm weak, broken-down, hungry, and lost... you accuse me of causing all of these to myself? And that you're the victim in all of these?

BULL-CRAP!

You taught me how not to be angry, now you're giving me reasons to be. I loved you with all my heart, mind and soul... and still you say that I'm SELFISH? Guess I am, after all I love myself too much, being that this be the reason why I emancipate myself from all your knives.

Everybody deserves to be loved. Everyone deserves to be treated well. I don't see the point for which you're giving me. Blind love isn't true love. False reassurance should have never been an option. If you were to love me again, I hope you understand this.

Hurting still but now is on the path to recovery,

Heart-broken me.

We were taught to love others, but we're never taught how to recover from almost anything. I guess, we all had to learn it the hard way.

When we lose someone dear, our teachers didn't teach us how to grieve. When our friends desert us, our teachers didn't teach us what to do. When someone we love doesn't love us back, our teachers didn't tell us to question? I'm not blaming our teachers (those in school :]), I'm just saying that we are still the masters of our own ships, and that we should learn to be more cautious as to where we drop our anchors or to where we should set sail.

Taking precaution is often mistaken as "keeping our guards up" but these two are totally different stuff. People who are cautious are probably the most courageous persons I have ever met. They know how to deal situations, know how and when to act when the situation calls for. While people I know who "keep their guards up" are those who are insecure (questions oneself) and are more likely to be paranoid. Still, there's nothing wrong in keeping those invisible walls up, just make sure that people would still be able to see you and reach out to you when you're in your most darkest hours.

All in all, I believe that life is a choice between what to learn and what NOT to learn. We are constantly presented with choices and decisions, and it is up to us to understand and weigh things in accordance to our understanding and intuition. Life is a choice, so choose wisely.

And if what we choose doesn't go well with what we initially thought it would, then accept your fault, learn from it, and move on. :)

monetary dilemma.

Ever since I got back to Davao, I have been lurking inside my room.. thinking a lot. Now, it came to a point where I realized that I seriously needed to find myself some means for monetary advancement. Since, as I may have to state the obvious, I am JOBLESS.

I've been searching the internet for available jobs in my current location. But, to my dismay, there isn't one job that would give me professional growth nor personal growth. Now this is sick.

Graduating and earning my license as a nurse, may have been a glorious ride for me. But apparently, times are wasted and my luster is starting to rust. I have got to get my ass out there.

Still, I did apply to some institutions in the hopes that I could be hired as a staff nurse. And yes, I am hoping that after the Holy Week, they would be picking up their company's phone and call me.

I am broke as hell.

I'm thinking of getting a job online, but I guess Facebook never fails to keep me extra-ordinarily busy... CRAP.

Why can't work find it's way towards me. I mean, isn't my path ultra clear? hahahaha...

I am so broke.

NEED TO FIND A JOB.

ASAP.

get it right. :(

Get It Right lyrics

What have I done? I wish I could run
Away from this ship goin' under
Just tryin' to help, hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I'll get through this

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right

So I throw up my fist
I will punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send out a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care!

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

What I realized during my darkest hours. :)

I recently found this picture of my nephew in my brother's laptop... and kinda reminds me of how I used to be as a kid...

Now, I know I've been down in the dumps for the past few days--because of what happened to my supposedly realized dream of becoming a doctor-- but then I realized, how stupid I was to fall into the pits of DESPAIR. Literally.

I did cry a lot... nah. I cried for DAYS! Ha! I tried consoling with icecream but that didn't really help... but then, just as I was about to think that ALL HOPE WAS LOST... I found this.

Yes yes, it's just a picture of a child picking out stuff from the floor (and probably eat some of it) but it made me feel something... something different. It made me realize that "GOD! I HAVEN'T GROWN UP AT ALL!!"

Yes, i did mature... physically and in some aspects, intellectually.. but holistically?? I don't think so... see, I used to be the free spirited, not-capable-of-staying-perfectly-still-in-a-chair, almost ADHD type of person... but now, I guess I'm not anymore. Yeah, that should have been the case, considering I am a degree holder, and a licensed one at that, but come to think of it, there still is some good in bringing out the child in ourselves...

I used to recall when I was young, I couldn't wait till I was big and mature to do all those stuff that my mom, dad and my elder brother did.. but when I was realizing what I wanted to do then, I realized how I wanted to be younger again and NOT do all these things that they did...

I realized that there is some truth in the words When life gives you lemons, you make a lemonade and I believe that with this truth and these realizations, I'd be able to emancipate myself from all these miseries...

Acting out as a mature man and profiling oneself as one, may put you on the status quo, but nonetheless, NEVER forget that you were once a child and that you did have dreams of your own..

Now that I am presented with this reality, why not make the most out of it? And like a child, why not dream BIG again? Who knows, it may turn out for the better, if not for the best. :)

All this time I thought I could never dream and hope again... but God indeed has His ways, and now I know which path I am heading... Hey I'm still 23, and yes I'm still young... I won't die any minute from now... And I don't believe that 2012 is the end of the world.. so there is still time for me to be a doctor... yes there's still time to make dreams into reality.

Now I have to live up to my reality, and make my dreams come true. :)

smiling now.

with eager heart.

dreaming big.

harvii. :)

disappointment. :(

Some bad things have been going on and on in my house, the moment I got back from Manila. My mom, clearly, wasn't at all happy having me comeback to stay with them... which I honestly don't understand, when clearly she wanted me to come back home to Davao when I was still in Manila. Now I'm really confused.

The primary reason why I went home to Davao, was that my dad told me that I'd be entering Medschool by June... which by most of my friends know, is one of my ultimate dream. And as soon as, my dad told me that he'd be giving me the honor of having that dream turn into reality, I instantly grabbed the opportunity without any hesitation. WHICH is also, the primary reason why I'm jobless.

Now that I knew that I'd be going to Medschool, I told my dad that it'll be necessary for me to take the NMAT (National Medical Admissions Test)-- more like the entrance exams for future doctors-- and that since I'd be entering school year 2011, I should take the NMAT asap. Now, I told him that CEM (Center for Educational Measurement) will be conducting the exams for April in MANILA only (since exams for the different regions were done on December) and that he has nothing to worry about board and lodging since a friend of mine is more than willing to have me stay in their house for the days inclusive of the said exam. And yes, he understood everything.

The thing is, my mom started to blabber out HARSH words, attacking me with DEGRADING statements, telling me how I was a disappointment to her and to my dad, and that I wasn't at all capable of "bringing home the bacon" and that my stay in Manila was all for nothing. We even went to a point wherein the argument was so intense she scratched/punched/slapped me for many many times... It was painful, both physically and emotionally.

I cried a lot.

But then again, I was constantly told by my dear friend that everything will turnout fine, and that all will eventually change once I enter medschool. So kept my spirit high. I kept my head held high, clenching the hope that I'd somehow someday, when I'll be the best doctor in the country, that I will have them eat their words and prove them wrong.

but I guess that won't happen.

Apparently now that my exams are nearing, my mom told me that I won't be taking the NMAT anymore and that my dad won't be sending me to Manila. I felt like my dreams went down the drain... Now that all of these were being said, I feel as if, I was never to have my dreams realized. I feel so disappointed with the fact that, I did have that hope in my hands, and they just made me throw it all in the bin.

I haven't really talked to my dad about this. But I guess I know what his answer will be...

I feel so sick and tired of having everything flushed down the drain.

I don't know if I'd be able to hope again.

Now that I know that hoping for something, will only bring disappointment and hardcore sadness.

Apparently my SOMEDAY isn't TODAY... and guess will never be TOMORROW.

goodbye dreams. :(

Blood lines. :)

It seems peculiar to be part of something big, such as the Basañes Family. Apparently, my late grandfather never really took us all to mingle with the rest of his brothers and sisters, so technically, I never really knew much of my second degree cousins.

But then again, when my grandfather died, I became acquainted with them (well most of them, so to speak) and was able to recognize much (even more) of their side, broadening my knowledge as to how and what my bloodline was and will be.

Being with the comforts of family is indeed something to celebrate. Now that times are changing, and we are all getting matured, it is but important to maintain that bond between and amongst us. We may belong to a different genre, we may have differing likes and interests but still one thing remains... that is the fact that we are a FAMILY and that we belong to each other.

Indeed, a Family that grows together, stays together.

confused... again.

Why is it that every time I try to forget you... I can't.
Why is it that every time I try to forge you out of my brain and of my existence... I can't.
Why is it that every time I try to ignore you... I can't.
Why is it that every time I try to stop liking you... I CAN'T!

You have dug deep into my being, yet you still treat me like I'm nothing.
You don't know how much it hurts me... not being with you, nor hearing your voice.
I wish I could just close my eyes and pretend that all of this doesn't inflict pain into my heart... but it does.
I'm not much better without you.

You say I don't miss you, but then again... I miss you even more.
You say I don't do much, but then again... I gave you my all.
You say I don't need you, but then again... you give me life.

Could we please stop the pretensions?
Could we end the miseries?
Could we please be true to ourselves?

Just tell me the truth.
The raw fact.
For with it, I'll know I'll get by.
For with it, I'll figure out a plan.
For with it, we'll set each other free.

I loved you.
and will always do.
Nothing changes, be it a yes or no.
I just don't want to hold on to thin air, constantly waiting for a breeze to come.

Then again, I'm confused.

:(

Born This Way by Lady Gaga. :)

"I'm beautiful in my way, cause God makes no mistakes... "

"Born This Way" is a new song by American pop singer-songwriter Lady Gaga. It is the track from her forthcoming third album Born This Way and was released as its lead single on February 11, 2011. The song was written by Lady Gaga, and it was produced by Gaga, Fernando Garibay, and DJ White Shadow. The single was released onto Gaga's website for streaming on February 11, 2011. The same day it was released and sent to radio. The song is like 80s, Madonna meets Kylie Minogue. And as we knew, it's got a defined electro-pop beat, dancey, and screams 'gay anthem'." -http://www.lyricsmode.com

sick. tired. alone.

I'm sick... again.
I can't really count the times where I've been faced with these kinds of situation...
To the point where I think I'm becoming more and more adept at handling these instances.
Although at a vantage point, these experiences make me understand my body more.
It makes me feel that I still have a purpose to live and a life to pursue.

I'm sick, tired and weak.
Thanks to my friends who look out for me, and care for me (even when we don't actually see each other).
But knowing that somewhere, in their busy hours, they still have time to wish me good health and give me high hopes of me getting all better... this then, makes me feel that I am a person worthy of love and of compassion.
Friends... you made me a strong person.
Thank you.

I'm sick, tired, weak and alone.
I've been with the company of my family and friends for the longest time... but being sick and feeling alone, all at the same time, is really different.
I have nobody but myself to comfort with.
I have nobody to care but myself.
I am alone. And I understand that.
Some say, that one should wait for the right person to come... but when he comes, will he be that person who'll take care of you when you're sick?
Our soulmates may not necessarily be our partners.
and our partners may not necessarily be our soulmates.
but then again, why do we still believe in such concepts?
and in the end, it all boils down to you, taking care of yourself.

This made me cry.
Knowing that I'm alone, not because I needed to, but because I chose to.
I don't know if I should ever love again.
And if I do, will he reciprocate the kind of love that I am willing to offer? or will it be, yet again, a one-sided love affair... wherein one loves the other, and the other loves another.

I'm sick...
I'm tired...
I'm alone...
wtf?!

Hope I'll be better when I wake up.

dancing to a different tune.

I'm back to my origins.
Now that I'm back, so much has changed.
I'm having more stress than ever... as compared to what I had when I was in Manila.

Been really busy for the past months...
Now that I'm going to medschool, I'm guessing that my life would be a hot mess.

I dunno, but I'm guessing that, with all that has happened to me (both here and in Manila) I'd be very much engulfed in the concepts of medicine.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I'd be taking my Medicine Path SERIOUSLY.
and by that, it would mean.. less party, less gimiks, less lovelife drama. ahahahah

Now that things are going to be different, I'm still looking forward to a better year.

BTW, I just turned 23 last March 07... and it's definitely something not worth rejoicing... ahhaha.. Had a fight with my MOM (and a huge one at that) and we are not speaking terms with anyone at home.. I guess, having me come over from Manila, all penniless and jobless is something they wouldn't have expected.

Still, I do hope all would be well in my household... I won't be speaking much to them as of now.. I think that it would be best that way..


skin tough as leather.
xoxo
harvii

just a dream. :(

i love this version so much.